it was the night of prom when Ryan and his wife were called in because their son had ‘spiked the punch’ when he finally saw his son he stepped closer, placed his hand on George IV’s shoulder and whispered, “job well done, son” as his eyes welled up with tears of pride

Ryan’s son had to dress up for a play one day and while holding up a pair of black slacks ryan said, “no pick the one with the accentuating off-white pinstripes” as he choked back a sob


ryan ross sat in the living room as his son ran in. “DAD! I got an A on my math test” his son cried out, excitement throbbing in his words. “That’s great, son!” Ryan said, placing his paper down, a smile on his face. “Yeah dad. I couldn’t understand math but things have changed for me!” Said Ryan’s son, as he ran out of the room again. “And…. that’s okay….” Ryan whispered, into the empty room. Tears streamed down his face.


Ryan comes home and flings his suitcase on the couch and asks his son, ‘how was school today kiddo?’ ‘I won an award at school daddy,’ his son exclaims excitedly, ‘it was the greatest thing to have ever of happened!!’ ryan whispered, ‘imagine knowing me’ to himself between choking back tears and retreated to his bedroom

Ryan Ross’s wife comes home after getting her nails done with their daughter. “She broke her nails before we got home but I swear honey, it looked like she spun the stars on her fingernails.” He the fell to the floor sobbing, apologizing for how he could never make her happy

"hey honey will I need an umbrella today" Ryan asks his wife. "It doesn’t look like raining," she says "But it’s better if you do." Ryan looks at her. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY" He screams as he runs into his room and curls up with his floral scarves.

"dad guess what" ryan ross’s son screamed at him. "my teacher told me i have more wit than anyone in the class!" "i’ve got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck." ryan whispered to himself as a tear slid down his cheek.

ryan ross stumbled home after a long night of drinking away his sorrows hey honey how’s it goin he says stumbling towards his wife ryan please i can hardly hear you your speech is slurred- she said before ryan cut her off screaming THAT YOU JUST MIGHT SWALLOW YOUR TONGUE and running upstairs to his bedroom where he opened his drawer of scarves and sobbed while stroking their gay floral patterns.


omg i bet ryan ross has his scarves hidden somewhere and when his friends come over his house i bet they’re like “omg ryan HAHAHhahAHAHhahAHahA remember when you used to wear those scarves omg you were such a faggot” and ryan laughs and nods along but at night he takes the scarves out from their hiding place and cries into them


Ryan Ross loosened his tie and unbuttoned his favorite vest, ruffling his little Jimmy’s hair as he walked by. “Hi son, how was your day?” he asked. Jimmy laughed and Ryan’s wife replied, “Oh, darling, Jimmy’s teacher called today, said he’d caused some trouble with some girls in the class. No harm done, though-“ She laughed and pushed Ryan gently- “Boys will be boys!” Ryan suddenly began to cry, throwing the couch across the room and running into his bedroom “Give me a break!”